November 22, 2004

Entries I'll Never Write

I am hoping to write a couple of philosophical entries soon, but I have other things to do before Thanksgiving. So I'll just link to this excellent Journal-Sentinel editorial on teaching evolution and creationism, and then mention this:

As you may have gathered, one of my primary purposes in running this weblog is to think up ridiculous puns for the post titles. Unfortunately, I have thought up some ridiculous puns that lack entries--either because the entries would require discussing philosophical issues on which I haven't thought of anything to say right now, or because they would require linking to news articles reporting events that haven't taken place. Rather than sit around rooting for those events to take place--which is a really ridiculous thing to do--I've decided to list the titles and the entries that would bear them. Some of the jokes are pretty awful, so I'm putting it in the extended entry.

As I say, I'm hoping to put up some real philosophy sometime.

1. A discussion of Anselm and Gaunilo on the ontological argument: "I Pity the Fool"

2. On tasks that comprise an infinite number of subtasks: "Supertasks Last All Summer Long" (recycled from Shieva Kleinschmidt's comments)

3. On a study about poetry therapy as an alternative to ADHD medication: "I Don't Rhyme for the Sake of Ritalin"

4. Attempts to repeal the Family Education Rights and Privacy Act: "The End of FERPA in the World"

5. My obtaining a lot of male cats while still resident in this city: "I'm from Milwaukee and You're from New Berlin, I Got a Lot of Kitties and None of Them Is Girlin'"

All of these titles allude to something that exists outside of my head, I promise. [UPDATE: Maybe. #5 conflates two different Beastie Boys rhymes.]

Posted by Matt Weiner at November 22, 2004 12:25 PM

I ain't gettin' on no plane...

Posted by: Matt McGrattan at November 23, 2004 09:52 AM

I didn't realise it meant that much to you. The title has been changed. :)

Posted by: Shieva at November 24, 2004 07:56 PM

I just hate to let a good joke go to waste. I also hate to let the jokes I actually think of go to waste.

Happy thanksgiving all.

Posted by: Matt Weiner at November 24, 2004 09:43 PM