April 11, 2005

Don't Just Tell the Tax People

Utah's income tax form instructs you to fill in "Your full name (first, middle, initial)" and then check a box for "Deceased in 2004 or 2005." I suppose the statement made by checking that box isn't analytically false, but it's metaphysically somewhat surprising.

(Yes, I'm leaving things late. Yes, it's after 11 pm. I don't care. I'm getting money back. Both how I'm living and my cat is large.)

Posted by Matt Weiner at April 11, 2005 10:24 PM

Haven't done mine yet either. Shhh.

Posted by: bitchphd at April 11, 2005 10:34 PM

do your taxes. and then, let's get stoopid!

Posted by: corey at April 12, 2005 08:57 AM

Both how I'm living and my cat ARE large?

The sentence construction is funky, but both is still the plural subject, isn't it? Didn't want you to think you could get away with it. We're always watching you.

Posted by: editor at April 12, 2005 12:04 PM

I swear, that isn't me.

Posted by: ben wolfson at April 12, 2005 01:54 PM

You could make a case that it should be "Both how I'm livin' and my cat is large," but if you think it should be "are" you're just convicting yourself out of your own mouth. Don't be so Cro-Nasal!

I'm glad it wasn't you, Ben, since you're still on probation for the first offense.

(It took a surprising amount of effort to discover the permalink to that comment.)

Posted by: Matt Weiner at April 12, 2005 02:24 PM

This isn't the first time that Humpty-Hump has come up here, BTW. The wonderful Vera Tobin there points out that Humpty is being zeugmatic. I like saying "zeugma." I think I'll say "zeugma" all the way home on the bus. It should guarantee that I get a seat.

Posted by: Matt Weiner at April 12, 2005 02:28 PM

Damn, when I saw that "editor" comment, I so wanted to jump on it, but someone beat me to it. To editor's credit, his/her inner ear clued him/her in to the fact that the sentence was "funky," but, having failed to thoroughly review the literature of funky sentence-structuring (I pray that link works), he/she got it wrong.

Posted by: bitchphd at April 12, 2005 06:15 PM

So, how do you say "zeugma"? I thought it was ZOYG-muh, but my dictionary (MW11) gives it with a u-umlaut.

you don't have no hummer
you don't have no lexus
you're ridin the bus
and doin your taxes
I call that tedium
but you're gettin a refund
and movin to Texas
so you're livin medium

Posted by: Matt's mom at April 13, 2005 09:39 AM

Matt's mom, you're awesome.

I pronounce it "zewg-muh."

Posted by: bitchphd at April 13, 2005 11:04 AM

Damn, outrhymed by my own mom.

I pronounce it zoog-ma or zug-ma (first syllable sort of rhyming with "book"), depending on my mood.

Posted by: Matt Weiner at April 13, 2005 11:47 AM