Opiniatrety

Take this fragment: "unorthodox beliefs such as that God possesses both masculine and feminine traits"

and replace "such as" with "like": "unorthodox beliefs like that God possesses both masculine and feminine traits". This sounds better to me, if somewhat informal (sounds like speech rather than something you'd read). What do you think?

Oh, and it reads better if you put a comma after "beliefs."

I definitely like it better with the comma. Without I have trouble making sense of it; my ear wants it to end after "that" or "that God."

(Possibly related: I read "Democratic club presidents in this town or that are replaced, move, die or retire" and thought "Which town? Why are you pairing club presidents in this town with ones that are replaced etc.? And what's the verb?" Then I realized that it meant "this or that town.")

And with the comma it does sound like acceptable speech. It looks funny to me but it sounds fine.

One thing I didn't do is check the parallelism with "for instance" or "like":

Known as Mother Ann, she was persecuted and jailed for preaching unorthodox beliefs: for instance, sexual and racial equality, pacifism, and that God possesses both masculine and feminine traits.

Known as Mother Ann, she was persecuted and jailed for preaching unorthodox beliefs, like sexual and racial equality, pacifism, and that God possesses both masculine and feminine traits.

Both still sound bad to me. And they sound bad as soon as I hit "sexual or racial equality," which makes me think: maybe the problem is that those aren't beliefs, but things you believe in. Though pacifism seems like a belief. Thinking it over, this probably isn't what's going on.

unorthodox beliefs such as that God possesses both masculine and feminine traits

Funny, I have no problem with this. But replacing "such as" with "like" seems like an error to me, or at least sounds like a child talking.

"sexual or racial equality" [...] aren't beliefs, but things you believe in

I agree. And you wouldn't say "I believe pacifism," either. Pacifism may be a "belief" in the sense of a quasi-religion, but it's not the same as a belief in a particular fact.

unorthodox beliefs such as that God possesses both masculine and feminine traits

Funny, I have no problem with this, but I can't accept replacing "such as" with "like."

"sexual or racial equality" [...] aren't beliefs, but things you believe in

I agree, and I wouldn't say, "I believe pacifism," either.

But though sexual and racial equality, pacifism, and that God possesses both masculine and feminine traits may be non-parallel kinds of belief, they are all things that one preaches.

Perhaps one way to fix the original sentence is to remove the words "unorthodox beliefs such as".

All the sentences seem fine to me.

Unsurprisingly, I like my second draft comment better than my first comment.

As I said to Maribeth when she told me about the same article, I find it surprising that there are only four Shakers. Surely there are other celibate orders, some with fewer resources and less name recognition, that manage to maintain larger numbers. It must be deliberate extreme selectiveness on their part rather than a lack of potential converts.

The distinction between "sexual and racial equality" and "pacifism" is extremely fine here— sexual and racial equality could be a condition of the world that you want to attain, whereas pacifism is a creed. But sexual and racial equality is also a creed. So, never mind.

Richard, that may partly be right. But also, if you have celibate orders embedded within larger churches (like Catholic or Buddhist monks and nuns) that gives a large pool of potential converts, people who might be disposed to that order. Whereas with the Shakers it seems you have to take the leap all the way into celibacy from outside the religion. I don't know if there are any freestanding celibate religions that continue to exist.

Heaven's Gate had 39 members.

Okay, it doesn't continue to exist, but not because of the celibacy.

You know, I'd been thinking of them. But the trick here, I think, is maintaining larger numbers. Other celibate orders may get an initial push, but will they manage to persist through several generations even if they don't commit mass suicide? The Shakers really lasted quite a long time.